https://www.theonion.com/americans-hopeful-this-will-be-last-mass-shooting-befor-1819580359
https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1819576527
Monday, December 18, 2017
Monday, December 11, 2017
does this seem fair
check out how panera bread has appropriated the aesthetics of 20th century egyptian artist hamed nada for their casually omnicultural, quasi-familiar cafe coziness:
tell me you DIDNT mentally superimpose this on a warm panera wall!!
paired with irresistible miles davis? u bet i'll buy that mac&cheese
Friday, December 8, 2017
peruvian dreams
whats up chaps. there are a few things that really struck me about this dance vid:
1. the way their traditional garb interacts with their movement... compare this with western ballet, which isolates the body via tight clothes (centers human form)... in peru they seem more interested in creating spectacle with inanimate objects and designs, very beautiful!
2. the movement of their jaws & knees! almost like a puppet they are moving their face very subtly in co-ordinance with their feet
3. how much it resembles square-dancing of the american southwest. hints @ wild early cultural appropriation & the extent to which even quintessentially "american" cultural landmarks in fact are in great debt to other communities... traditional latin american dance colonized & reduced to white cowboy hoedowns
Friday, December 1, 2017
talk about sealing a deal
today at work a man with clouded eyes asked me to shake his hand after a transaction
Thursday, November 30, 2017
seethin teethin & spinnin
yeah, that whole net neutrality sucks. all we can do is pray that blogspot.com keeps its senses about and paywalls the other blogs before they restrict access to this one. my content should always be free.
on second thought that'd be deeply insulting here's why: as much as i disavow capitalism it still goddamn hurts to be left out of it. what, my content isn't worthy of charging low-income families? i'm not relaying enough liberal propaganda for you to filter it out? take this:
god he's sexy. people don't look like that anymore!
which i think is true and is often overlooked. it's the reason joseph gordon-levitt or seth rogen isn't believable in a civil war film (ok, it's one of many). aside from clothes & styles & photo-posing-protocol, people looked different back in the day. even in the 50s: check out robert mitchum. now go outside and find someone with the same trianglehead* as that motherfucker. that's right. no one.
i have a few theories, each backed by dutiful medical research:
a.) puberty (which affects facial structure) has been happening earlier and earlier
b.) dentistry (which can dramatically alter your jawline and the way you hold your mouth) and orthodontics as a field of study went through its own puberty in the 20th century and skyrocketed in practice and how we understand the importance of our teeth.**
people have different illnesses now, you see? all except for me. i've got the same shit my shtetl ass ancestors have been dealing with. the running list is embarrassing. all my ailments fit squarely into the "decrepit elderly jew" genre of ailments in that all are inconvenient enough for me to righteously kvetch about but none are legitimately debilitating enough for me to actually wax poetic about / receive the sympathy of others / dedicate this much blog post to. but yeah. i got damn vertigo. it almost made me fall over like a loser while doing zumba in gym today. how's that for a upper middle class liberal jewish anecdote?
*the part in They Might Be Giants' "Particle Man" about the "Triangle Man" is about robert mitchum!! this is true
**i remember the first time i saw the 2005 Tim Burton masterpiece Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the whole headgear extravaganza. my sibling was on their way to get braces. i thought, "does this mean we get to have esteemed actor Christopher Lee as our father, too?" just kidding, i didn't think that. i was 5 and only understood Johnny Depp as a celebrity.
on second thought that'd be deeply insulting here's why: as much as i disavow capitalism it still goddamn hurts to be left out of it. what, my content isn't worthy of charging low-income families? i'm not relaying enough liberal propaganda for you to filter it out? take this:
which i think is true and is often overlooked. it's the reason joseph gordon-levitt or seth rogen isn't believable in a civil war film (ok, it's one of many). aside from clothes & styles & photo-posing-protocol, people looked different back in the day. even in the 50s: check out robert mitchum. now go outside and find someone with the same trianglehead* as that motherfucker. that's right. no one.
i have a few theories, each backed by dutiful medical research:
a.) puberty (which affects facial structure) has been happening earlier and earlier
b.) dentistry (which can dramatically alter your jawline and the way you hold your mouth) and orthodontics as a field of study went through its own puberty in the 20th century and skyrocketed in practice and how we understand the importance of our teeth.**
people have different illnesses now, you see? all except for me. i've got the same shit my shtetl ass ancestors have been dealing with. the running list is embarrassing. all my ailments fit squarely into the "decrepit elderly jew" genre of ailments in that all are inconvenient enough for me to righteously kvetch about but none are legitimately debilitating enough for me to actually wax poetic about / receive the sympathy of others / dedicate this much blog post to. but yeah. i got damn vertigo. it almost made me fall over like a loser while doing zumba in gym today. how's that for a upper middle class liberal jewish anecdote?
*the part in They Might Be Giants' "Particle Man" about the "Triangle Man" is about robert mitchum!! this is true
**i remember the first time i saw the 2005 Tim Burton masterpiece Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the whole headgear extravaganza. my sibling was on their way to get braces. i thought, "does this mean we get to have esteemed actor Christopher Lee as our father, too?" just kidding, i didn't think that. i was 5 and only understood Johnny Depp as a celebrity.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Sunday, November 19, 2017
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
CONSPIRACIES ARE TRUE!!!
this is a thorough (ie excessively lengthy) article that provides a lot of pretty frustrating context for hurricane katrina.
really interesting stuff though, about how our institutions shape our perception of events
if you get the chance,
check
out
spike
lee's
thorough (ie excessively lengthy) (ie 6 HOURS!!!!!)
documentary
about this topic exactly. it is crucial
Friday, November 10, 2017
wesley willis
his permanent bruise on forehead was due to his habit of greeting people with a head bump
*this man is curiously absent from the internet. i tried to source the original quote & could not find it!! i only got the okkervil river frontman
very interesting drawings allegedly informed by walking the streets of chicago endlessly
however, rock critic Will Robinson Sheff* wrote that Willis' "periodic appearances for crowds of jeering white fratboys evoke an uncomfortable combination of minstrel act and traveling freakshow."*this man is curiously absent from the internet. i tried to source the original quote & could not find it!! i only got the okkervil river frontman
Friday, November 3, 2017
Monday, October 30, 2017
the user's guide to the "king of pop", as he as most famously known as (it's billy joel)
here's my scorching take: just as the most devoted ice cream aficionados ultimately return full-circle to vanilla, i believed the most seasoned, john-cusack, elitist music-lovers will inevitably re-embrace the unbridled sincerity of Billy Joel. we'll all just wait for you to drop your pretensions and submit yourself.
but i get it. you're 12, and you're manically exploring your musical identity & each subsequent baggage, flipping through the (to continue the analogy) artisanal flavor of month”: “post-vaporwave,” “emo-core,” “proto-mumble-rap,” or “neo-noise-step.” and a closer look will reveal these upsetting subgenres to be like galaxies, each containing massive constellations of micro-sub-genres. but at some point, you will turn 13, and discover that the aesthetic attributes become irrelevant: they are just pitstops in your exploration of music, each with their own purpose: confusion, self-actualization, angst, escapism, catharsis, fear. you could ascribe any band or genre to the points in this constellation. nu-metal. nine inch nails. these stars are important, but they are stepping stones to the final destination, the sun. which is billy joel.
a.) let olive garden (fittingly)* represent Billy Joel. cynical detractors will lampoon his middle-of-the-road, watered-down faux-Italian-authenticity. but everyone else, those who have abandoned some fucked up loftiness for the joy of life, will just enjoy the breadsticks, which are in fact really enjoyable. maybe you can find a way in via irony. joel built his career on ed koch-era pseudo-mccartneyisms, like if coppola directed Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: The Movie. i've noticed irony is also how people tend to approach bossa-nova, but you you can't sustain a record collection on irony. you must let that irony solidify into sincerity.
b.) understanding the sincerity of billy joel is like staring into the sun.
c.) billy joel, unlike his (often unfortunately) undeterred contemporaries, called it quits. the joel catalog is finite—he has sworn to countless audiences never to disavow his 1993 retirement from songwriting and decision to tour for the rest of his life. he put down his pen to pick up a mic, effectively transforming his career from pop craftsman to pop peddler, traversing the globe singing songs of yesteryore. this means a lot for arena venues around the globe, but what does it mean for those who can’t log on to madisonsquaregarden.com fast enough to snag tickets? it means that you can analyze his 13-album embarrassment of riches and delve fully and completely. sure, the joel catalog is finite, but you know what else is finite? the bible. And yet it continues to inspire centuries of revelation & revolution.
d.) billy joel promises a wholesome, american simplicity: a space in which auto mechanics lead odyssian quests through the perils of urban adulthood, where vietnam vets fretfully relive their missions, where divorced mothers become queens, and where the stuffy and skeptical grow up and wear their heart on their sleeve.
e.) here are some notable entry points:
Glass Houses (1980) is undoubtedly joel's flustered response to Look Sharp!: angular riffs and rollicking drums!! the piano part in "I Don't Want To Be Alone" is so unabashedly swiped off Joe Jackson's desk that u can hear his white shoes tapping on the tile floor. and it's also a little like speaking to that boy in middle school who pretended his voice was lower than it actually was. unsurprisingly the best track is the last, where he gives up and reverts to his saccharine mccartney worship. those soothing fake wind instruments? to die for.
Piano Man (1973) maybe you've heard of this one. people like to diss breakthrough albums because they're an easy entry into discographies, but this really has some great tracks on it. if you are looking for a crash course in clean 70s production, look no further. and billy
"worse comes to worst" is so killer, with joel repeatedly assuaging his fear of the future with the mysterious reminder that he "knows a woman in new mexico". the instrumental covers a shocking amount of textural ground. in the bridge, you have funky wah-wah guitar in the right channel, watery flanged in the left, a THIRD slide guitar, a gospel choir, and that killer bongo beat, and not for one moment does it feel cluttered. while these deft arrangements are likely the work of producer michael stewart, it's still an achievement to behold.
The Stranger (1977) is considered his best album. it's not, but it's his most billy joel album and functions in some ways as a compendium of his entire discography, effectively showcasing the modes of billy we'd later see explored: tender balladeer, kitchen-sink storyteller, explosive rock champion.
Cold Spring Harbor (1971) this one is billy joel's lost album if he ever had one. it was initially mastered a little too high, pitching up billy joel's voice in (what i imagine would be to him) emasculating ways. i get the vibe that pitching it back down to its original state wouldn't be super revelatory, but i could b wrong
i've changed lives today
*a la “scenes from an italian restaurant"
but i get it. you're 12, and you're manically exploring your musical identity & each subsequent baggage, flipping through the (to continue the analogy) artisanal flavor of month”: “post-vaporwave,” “emo-core,” “proto-mumble-rap,” or “neo-noise-step.” and a closer look will reveal these upsetting subgenres to be like galaxies, each containing massive constellations of micro-sub-genres. but at some point, you will turn 13, and discover that the aesthetic attributes become irrelevant: they are just pitstops in your exploration of music, each with their own purpose: confusion, self-actualization, angst, escapism, catharsis, fear. you could ascribe any band or genre to the points in this constellation. nu-metal. nine inch nails. these stars are important, but they are stepping stones to the final destination, the sun. which is billy joel.
a.) let olive garden (fittingly)* represent Billy Joel. cynical detractors will lampoon his middle-of-the-road, watered-down faux-Italian-authenticity. but everyone else, those who have abandoned some fucked up loftiness for the joy of life, will just enjoy the breadsticks, which are in fact really enjoyable. maybe you can find a way in via irony. joel built his career on ed koch-era pseudo-mccartneyisms, like if coppola directed Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: The Movie. i've noticed irony is also how people tend to approach bossa-nova, but you you can't sustain a record collection on irony. you must let that irony solidify into sincerity.
b.) understanding the sincerity of billy joel is like staring into the sun.
c.) billy joel, unlike his (often unfortunately) undeterred contemporaries, called it quits. the joel catalog is finite—he has sworn to countless audiences never to disavow his 1993 retirement from songwriting and decision to tour for the rest of his life. he put down his pen to pick up a mic, effectively transforming his career from pop craftsman to pop peddler, traversing the globe singing songs of yesteryore. this means a lot for arena venues around the globe, but what does it mean for those who can’t log on to madisonsquaregarden.com fast enough to snag tickets? it means that you can analyze his 13-album embarrassment of riches and delve fully and completely. sure, the joel catalog is finite, but you know what else is finite? the bible. And yet it continues to inspire centuries of revelation & revolution.
d.) billy joel promises a wholesome, american simplicity: a space in which auto mechanics lead odyssian quests through the perils of urban adulthood, where vietnam vets fretfully relive their missions, where divorced mothers become queens, and where the stuffy and skeptical grow up and wear their heart on their sleeve.
e.) here are some notable entry points:
Glass Houses (1980) is undoubtedly joel's flustered response to Look Sharp!: angular riffs and rollicking drums!! the piano part in "I Don't Want To Be Alone" is so unabashedly swiped off Joe Jackson's desk that u can hear his white shoes tapping on the tile floor. and it's also a little like speaking to that boy in middle school who pretended his voice was lower than it actually was. unsurprisingly the best track is the last, where he gives up and reverts to his saccharine mccartney worship. those soothing fake wind instruments? to die for.
Piano Man (1973) maybe you've heard of this one. people like to diss breakthrough albums because they're an easy entry into discographies, but this really has some great tracks on it. if you are looking for a crash course in clean 70s production, look no further. and billy
"worse comes to worst" is so killer, with joel repeatedly assuaging his fear of the future with the mysterious reminder that he "knows a woman in new mexico". the instrumental covers a shocking amount of textural ground. in the bridge, you have funky wah-wah guitar in the right channel, watery flanged in the left, a THIRD slide guitar, a gospel choir, and that killer bongo beat, and not for one moment does it feel cluttered. while these deft arrangements are likely the work of producer michael stewart, it's still an achievement to behold.
The Stranger (1977) is considered his best album. it's not, but it's his most billy joel album and functions in some ways as a compendium of his entire discography, effectively showcasing the modes of billy we'd later see explored: tender balladeer, kitchen-sink storyteller, explosive rock champion.
Cold Spring Harbor (1971) this one is billy joel's lost album if he ever had one. it was initially mastered a little too high, pitching up billy joel's voice in (what i imagine would be to him) emasculating ways. i get the vibe that pitching it back down to its original state wouldn't be super revelatory, but i could b wrong
i've changed lives today
*a la “scenes from an italian restaurant"
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Sunday, September 24, 2017
https://dj.dancecult.net/index.php/dancecult/article/viewFile/378/391
this is a killer piece.
just think abt the futures lost by colonialism......
this is a killer piece.
just think abt the futures lost by colonialism......
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Monday, September 4, 2017
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